No less in need, no less powerful

“He shook my dozing soul and threw the cold water of reality in my face, so that life and God and heaven and hell broke into my world with glory and horror.” — John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Life

The first time that I was asked to share my testimony on how I came to Christ, I froze. I heard people share their testimony before… many came from broken families, experienced great heartbreaks, suffered rejection, struggled with poverty– some were drug addicts, alcoholics, convicts.

Somehow, coming to Christ because I did not hit the grade point average I was aiming for on my first semester as a freshman university student sounded lame and pathetic.

From as far back as I can remember, I have always led a sheltered life. My family was whole, and we were close knit. Sure, we bickered as siblings, but I never felt one was favored by our parents over another. We never lacked for anything. We went to very good schools. My sisters and I were always in the “in” crowd. We were always in the honors list. My parents’ friends and our relatives would always praise our family. According to them, we gave our parents a “good name.” Life seemed sweet and full.

But I knew something was missing and I truly found joy and security in Christ. I knew all along that my heart was rotten before He made Himself known to me. I was a bully, I was self righteous, and I often manipulated people, although these were never visible externally (which is why the manipulation worked, probably).

And then the time came when I was asked the biggest challenge of my life (at that time anyway). I had to share my testimony along with someone who grew up without a dad and someone who led a conspicuously perverse life. 

The lie that was in my mind was that my story was lame and no one could see the internal change in me, so why bother sharing? So I opted to say no.

As time went by though, God made it clear to me that my testimony was no less powerful, because He allowed me to meet and to minister to women whose lives were OK, who led sheltered (and, I thought before, boring) lives and yet were no less in need of God, just like I was. 

I thank Him that though my life seemed full, He showed its emptiness so I could let Him fill it with REAL joy and peace. 

I thank Him that daily, He wakes me up and shows me I am NOTHING without Him, but because I mean A LOT to Him, He came and gave me a life beyond what I could ask for or imagine.